When Good Cats Go Bad...

No, it's not the smell of the refrigerator that's bothering you.  But something is a little too ripe in the house.  And I'll bet it's squatting somewhere it's not supposed to, or stalking you while you sleep, or just has an attitude that says, "I have decided cute is no longer useful to me...I have chosen evil."  Can this cat be reformed?  That's up to you.  If you are the happy owner of this once beloved fluffball who used to purr softly in your lap and look at you adoringly and curl around your legs while you made breakfast...there may be hope.  But if this sketchy and suspicious feline has always been a blur prancing through the house and ducking all of your well-intentioned petting, maybe you need a little prayer time.  Not all cats are innate cuddlers or natural playmates for your kids and dogs (haha poor Fido!)  Most cats prefer to DOMINATE their surroundings.  And I use caps and am yelling at you for a reason.  If you haven't already figured it out, cats will NOT BE IGNORED and so the primary reason a cat will turn on its loyal owner and savior from the shelter/agency/highway/ex-lover is because it's not getting enough attention.  Little Fluffy really has to have enough toys scattered around the house to "hunt" or else will create an environment befitting her royal station (deluded she may be, but all cats believe they are royal). Otherwise, you are risking her creating toys from your favorite knick-knacks and souvenirs from that last vacation you took.  If you don't provide enough stimulation, I guarantee she will find a way to manipulate her environment to be a stalking ground which isn't the same thing as a safe play area.  Do you really feel safe walking barefoot around your sofa with that kitty lurking quietly...claws at the ready...after she's been home alone with nothing to shred?  For the love of unbroken skin, buy some tiny toy mice and plastic balls and scatter them around so you are no longer a pawn in her game of hide and go FREAK!

This?

or...this?? (gulp...)

You've lost that Lovin Feelin'

What?

Perhaps a little wild kitty isn't the problem with your once grateful and loving schnoogums.  Maybe he just stopped waiting for you at the window when you arrived home and that loving feeling is gone?  Have you been getting the suspicious aura of...something or other in the corner?  Does it seem like the litter box has less to offer than it used to?  Hmmm.  Maybe you even catch your precious Zeus in the sink now and then, making a "statement" about the location of his toilet?  Bad kitty.  It's time to make sure he knows who's boss!  No, he's not a dog and you can't smush his nose in it (not that that is an effective method for house-training a dog, either, by the way!)  The fact is that house-soiling is a cat's way of communicating his irritation with you about his surroundings (unless there is a medical problem.)  So let's assume you've taken him to the vet and you've spent the required $300 on tests and labs and your vet smiles and looks at you while telling you how perfectly "normal" your cat is.  Next, let's examine the house again...What's different?  Have you added a person/cat/dog/iguana/construction worker?  Started playing the drums?  Did you (suck in breath) MOVE YOUR FURNITURE?!?!? Well, change to a cat is never a good thing.  You might have to start following kitty around and watching when he eats and then carry his lazy butt to the litterbox and plop him in there and see if he'll go.  Peristalsis almost always leads to elimination (especially first thing in the morning) so even if he looks at you like you've lost your mind, bear with it.  Maybe he'll reward you with a scratch and a pee and then remember that's where he's supposed to go and won't have any leftovers to spread around later.  It's like interrupting the cycle of a bed-wetter.  Make sure you know when he is having the "accident" (yes, let's call it an accident) and train him to recognize it as an accident and where to take it...maybe it will stop.  And for GOODNESS SAKE...keep the box clean and in a quiet, safe place where it can't be messed with by the dog/iguana/construction worker.  Those distractions would interfere with my bladder too.


There is always the possibility you have a rotten egg.  There are a few cats that resist reformation and just need space and independence and want nothing to do with human intervention.  What on earth can you do with a cat like this?  Well, I might argue you have the easiest pet in the world because you just need to provide food and shelter and have patience because if the cat is that independent, it's not likely to interfere with your life too much.  Try to honor its request for space and realize it has individuated from you. It's kind of like a dependent teenager that wants to leave home but never gets a job, lays around on the couch all day, eating your food, using your stuff, and making no apologies for the messes. You have to adopt the "unconditional love" policy and realize it's too late for rehab and maybe someday this annoying creature will approach you for a hug and show a smidgen of gratitude.  But don't hold your breath.  It would be cruel to throw the kitty out.  It obviously has no idea what it has done wrong, it has no conscience.  It's just a self-absorbed kitty that needs to be ignored and maybe, just MAYBE, once you forget your need for attention it might come around...on tender paws...and sniff you...because (like I said) cats cannot tolerate being ignored...