There's No Place Like Home

We are finally home from our two week vacation to England, and after trekking all over the UK and living out of suitcases and feeling like nomads, I am very happy to be home again.  I can tell you who else is happy for us to be home--our cats!!  Not that they weren't in good hands.   As is typical for their summer vacation from us, they got a visitor to stay with them to dote on their every need and get acquainted with their perpetual desire for FOOD, sleep, FOOD, play, FOOD, and a place to puke or leave an "impression."  When I was away, my first week was like cat detox.  I didn't miss them too badly.  I wondered how they were adapting, but, for the most part, not having to wake up to the wailing call of a mighty feline who hasn't eaten in 8 hours (GASP!) was quite refreshing.  It was also kind of nice not to have to run tape over my pants because they didn't have fur stuck to them from the cat's decision to walk all over them when I laid them out in the morning.  Or having to check litter boxes three times per day.  Or have a cat digging its dagger paws into my lap when I just wanted to sit quietly. 

But somewhere around the week two mark, cats became like exotic animals to me.  Both my daughter and I would see a stray cat in a garden or someone's private yard and we would fuss as if it were one of the historic sites we paid to see.  Naturally, these foreign felines would look at us skeptically, knowing we were American, and then dashed off in a British manner.  Not to say they weren't friendly.  They just thought we were odd.  I could tell.  British cats are very proper.  And they all wore top hats. And drove Mini-Coopers.

So when we would collapse at night on our beds in our hotels, I genuinely longed for my absent cats. You get used to those little shadows darting around your legs, especially when you come down the stairs first thing in the morning.  It's amazing they haven't killed me yet with the game of "Let's Trip Mommy!" Why they see dashing between my legs scissoring up or down stairs as a challenge or competition something frisky and fun, I'm not sure.  But one day they might just be chewing on my fingers as I lay at the bottom...little tricksters!!  What a great game!


And I missed the conjured slow blink of love that I get as a result of their ancestry as witches "familiars."  You know when a cat is contentedly laying where it probably shouldn't and you approach to scold and they turn to you and give you the slit-eyes and stare--penetrating your soul and glamouring you like a vampire.  "You will let me lay here...I love you...You love me...This is MY spot.  This is NOT forbidden..."  Try THAT next time you're at work and need some time off...not so easy to pull off, is it? More than likely you will end up with a new nickname or a lawsuit.

Ahh, to be loved by a cat is to be accepted for who you are.  They don't notice your bedhead in the morning.  They don't comment on your weight gain after a holiday or tell you that chocolate is going to give you a headache.  They don't judge you for how many naps you take despite your list of things that needs to get done when you see them stretched out...it's just so inviting to lay there beside them, stroking their fur and having a staring contest.  I wouldn't mind a little more privacy in the bathroom, but it's a small price to pay for having that little spirit nearby always massaging your ankles and bonking you with its head as if to say, "You're my person.  Welcome home."

Cats on Treadmills?

When you take your cat to the vet, does your vet have that chart on the wall that translates how old your cat is in CAT YEARS compared to PEOPLE YEARS?  And when you go home enlightened and depressed about the true age of your cat, what do you do with that information?  Do you use it to spoil the slop out of that kitty, feed him bacon from the table and ice cream off a spoon?  Or do you cautiously watch his every suspicious hiccup (YES, they do get hiccups) convinced your feline is on the verge of his eternal doom?  Having a 14 year old cat sometimes feels like a monstrous black hole for pet debt for me because I am so in love with this stupid cat I am terrified every time he vomits that he has kidney disease or some form of feline cancer.  If he stares at me a second too long I'm wondering if he's telepathically trying to say he's in pain.  His eyes are sort of saggy now.  One of them wiggles constantly due to a nerve weakness.  His meows are kind of weak and listless.  Every time we go to the vet there are more blood tests that show increasing symptoms of this or that, but honestly, he's not at death's door.  Yet.  But wow, the tests do add up, don't they?

The problem is we lost two male cats at 7 years and 9 years.  One to diabetes and one to kidney disease.  Knowing this is common in male cats is not comforting.  When Tigger lost his brother and he went prowling around the house crying all day and using his paw to lift blankets to look under things, it broke my heart.  Loving a pet is a delightful thing.  But it comes at the cost of the eventual knowledge that you will have to say goodbye to this little precious someone.  So when I see the statistic that the average lifespan of a housecat is 14 years and Tigger is now 14.5....you get my drift.  My kitty is on borrowed time and I just hate that.

Where's my Cocktail?

So how to enrich his life?  Should I try to keep him fit by putting him on a special diet?  Get him to exercise more? (It is kind of funny to watch him on the treadmill but can't get him to walk long enough to be any benefit to his health)  Spoil him rotten and let him sleep on a silk pillow and eat as many treats as he wants? Teach him Yoga? Send him to Aruba with his best friends and a chaperone? How does one measure the happiness of a cat?   He's not like the Cheshire Cat...I don't see a smile on his face so I have to assume he's happy, right?  You know that you can't tell by the purring because they do that even when they're in pain.

Organic Kibble?!

I guess the best way to love him is to do the same thing I've been doing every day for the last 14.5 years of his life.  Lots of snuggles.  Fewer lectures on the missed attempts at peeing in the box.  Never take those head butts for granted.  Truthfully, he wouldn't have lived this long if I wasn't doing something right...Right?

Introvert Seeks Indoor Friendships...Cat Applications Accepted

Harley, the cat who inspires friendship

I have made many friends in my lifetime, but I don't think I've ever made any friends like the ones I've made this year over the internet.  Sure,  I've spent some time "dawdling" on this blog here talking about my adorable felines.  And due to my love of my sweet kitties I've made some friends who have commented on their shared interests (either via my blog or on other sites) and I've become quite close to one in particular because we have so much in common.  And it's all thanks to our cats.  What's most interesting about our friendship is that she and I are on opposite sides of the globe but we chat every single day now.  I'll call her "R"...to protect her identity.  Because that's what's we do on the net.

We have exchanged many pictures and videos of our little kitties (her kitties are on this page) but our friendship has elevated to include stories about family, friends, and our struggles with motherhood and health.  We truly have a lot in common and I feel unnaturally blessed to have this person in my life now and I marvel at the miracle of the internet that makes this type of social connection possible.  I know there are a lot of skeptics out there that advise against being close to people you "don't know" who might steal your identity.  But this isn't like one of those friendships.  This reminds me of one of those friendships you would make if you were walking your dog and another person was walking their dog and you strike up a conversation about the breed and you say farewell.  And the next day you see the same person and you have another conversation.  After a few days this person becomes familiar and you walk on the same path every day at the same time and it's just such a normal thing for you to have a friendship with someone who has the same pet as you and you warily give each other information about yourself and the next thing you know you meet each other to walk your dogs together.  It's just that kind of friendship.  Neighbors who walk with each other on opposite ends of the earth.

Why do I blog about this now?  Because I think it's bizarre that in the media there is so much hype about social connection and how we have to be so cautious about all of our privacy and data and all the while Facebook and Twitter make social barriers break down even more and people aren't even bothering to introduce themselves before they barge into conversations or insult each other publicly.  It's created what I think is like "social media anxiety"...There's a paradox that exists now that never has before where people are expected to do commerce with total strangers yet not have any social filters.  It's up to the individual to establish boundaries and maintain trust.  If I do all my bill paying online no one bats an eye, but if I talk about my personal life, suddenly that's more sacred and I'm being scrutinized by neighbors or family as eccentric. What I have is a good old-fashioned friendship with a person who happens to live thousands of miles away.  We don't exchange bank accounts or ask for sales leads.  Is it natural or possible in this day and age for people to make these kinds of social connections NOT to have humorous banter and commentary that leads to friendship? THAT is also due to the nature of the internet and the ability to sit and chat anytime while you are in a room full of your family while they watch TV and you can send a text across the world.  I know that may be considered rude.  But I don't always want to watch what my family is watching.  I want to talk to "R" about my cats.  Or my day.  Or whatever.  And she can tell me what the future is like in Australia because she's 15 hours ahead of me (LOL).  It is all a little bit surreal when you think about it and I don't think I could explain it to my ancestors.  Heck, my parents don't even really get it. (Seriously, I wouldn't have believed it were possible if you told me ten years ago this was future-me)  But my husband gets it and he often tells me to say "hi" to my friend when we are on WhatsApp texting each other during some program I'm not watching.

Also, I am a really indoor person.  That's bad grammar.  But it's honest. I don't go out much and I have serious problems with my stupid kidneys and so when I'm annoyed I spend time on this machine here on which I type (Voila!!) and this is how I make friends sometimes.  I used to have a job where I was on the phone ALL DAY talking to people.  Now, as a result, I hate talking on the phone.  I prefer texting over talking. It's not the most efficient way to communicate either.  Definitely not the most effective way to translate snark. However, thanks to the wonder of the INTERWEB I can connect socially without leaving my home.  It has turned me into quite the social BUTTERcaterpillar.  (that's me climbing into a cocoon...adding butter because I eat copious amounts of popcorn while I'm in there)  If I didn't have to go out to get groceries it's possible I would never leave my house.  It's not healthy, I know.  But my cats are happier than I've ever seen them.  They look at me smirking as if to say, "Told you the couch is really cozy, right? Come over to this sunny spot here...great for naps!"

Lexi...beautiful dreamer!

So while I'm tapping away on this weirdish rant, I guess the bottom line is I wish to thank my CATS for inspiring me to write a blog in the first place.  Otherwise, I would still be just staring at them and saving it for my exhausted husband who really doesn't want to hear all the awe and wonder I have about them when he comes home after calculating people's taxes at the end of the day.  And I would also like to thank Mark Zuckerberg for creating Facebook because it makes it not so creepy for me to be friends with "R"--she's really terrific and I hope she reads this and knows I am writing this partly because I feel I owe her a debt of gratitude for getting me off the couch today.  Also because I think cats are awfully cool.