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| Harley, the cat who inspires friendship |
I have made many friends in my lifetime, but I don't think I've ever made any friends like the ones I've made this year over the internet. Sure, I've spent some time "dawdling" on this blog here talking about my adorable felines. And due to my love of my sweet kitties I've made some friends who have commented on their shared interests (either via my blog or on other sites) and I've become quite close to one in particular because we have so much in common. And it's all thanks to our cats. What's most interesting about our friendship is that she and I are on opposite sides of the globe but we chat every single day now. I'll call her "R"...to protect her identity. Because that's what's we do on the net.
We have exchanged many pictures and videos of our little kitties (her kitties are on this page) but our friendship has elevated to include stories about family, friends, and our struggles with motherhood and health. We truly have a lot in common and I feel unnaturally blessed to have this person in my life now and I marvel at the miracle of the internet that makes this type of social connection possible. I know there are a lot of skeptics out there that advise against being close to people you "don't know" who might steal your identity. But this isn't like one of those friendships. This reminds me of one of those friendships you would make if you were walking your dog and another person was walking their dog and you strike up a conversation about the breed and you say farewell. And the next day you see the same person and you have another conversation. After a few days this person becomes familiar and you walk on the same path every day at the same time and it's just such a normal thing for you to have a friendship with someone who has the same pet as you and you warily give each other information about yourself and the next thing you know you meet each other to walk your dogs together. It's just that kind of friendship. Neighbors who walk with each other on opposite ends of the earth.
Why do I blog about this now? Because I think it's bizarre that in the media there is so much hype about social connection and how we have to be so cautious about all of our privacy and data and all the while Facebook and Twitter make social barriers break down even more and people aren't even bothering to introduce themselves before they barge into conversations or insult each other publicly. It's created what I think is like "social media anxiety"...There's a paradox that exists now that never has before where people are expected to do commerce with total strangers yet not have any social filters. It's up to the individual to establish boundaries and maintain trust. If I do all my bill paying online no one bats an eye, but if I talk about my personal life, suddenly that's more sacred and I'm being scrutinized by neighbors or family as eccentric. What I have is a good old-fashioned friendship with a person who happens to live thousands of miles away. We don't exchange bank accounts or ask for sales leads. Is it natural or possible in this day and age for people to make these kinds of social connections NOT to have humorous banter and commentary that leads to friendship? THAT is also due to the nature of the internet and the ability to sit and chat anytime while you are in a room full of your family while they watch TV and you can send a text across the world. I know that may be considered rude. But I don't always want to watch what my family is watching. I want to talk to "R" about my cats. Or my day. Or whatever. And she can tell me what the future is like in Australia because she's 15 hours ahead of me (LOL). It is all a little bit surreal when you think about it and I don't think I could explain it to my ancestors. Heck, my parents don't even really get it. (Seriously, I wouldn't have believed it were possible if you told me ten years ago this was future-me) But my husband gets it and he often tells me to say "hi" to my friend when we are on WhatsApp texting each other during some program I'm not watching.
Also, I am a really indoor person. That's bad grammar. But it's honest. I don't go out much and I have serious problems with my stupid kidneys and so when I'm annoyed I spend time on this machine here on which I type (Voila!!) and this is how I make friends sometimes. I used to have a job where I was on the phone ALL DAY talking to people. Now, as a result, I hate talking on the phone. I prefer texting over talking. It's not the most efficient way to communicate either. Definitely not the most effective way to translate snark. However, thanks to the wonder of the INTERWEB I can connect socially without leaving my home. It has turned me into quite the social BUTTERcaterpillar. (that's me climbing into a cocoon...adding butter because I eat copious amounts of popcorn while I'm in there) If I didn't have to go out to get groceries it's possible I would never leave my house. It's not healthy, I know. But my cats are happier than I've ever seen them. They look at me smirking as if to say, "Told you the couch is really cozy, right? Come over to this sunny spot here...great for naps!"
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| Lexi...beautiful dreamer! |
So while I'm tapping away on this weirdish rant, I guess the bottom line is I wish to thank my CATS for inspiring me to write a blog in the first place. Otherwise, I would still be just staring at them and saving it for my exhausted husband who really doesn't want to hear all the awe and wonder I have about them when he comes home after calculating people's taxes at the end of the day. And I would also like to thank Mark Zuckerberg for creating Facebook because it makes it not so creepy for me to be friends with "R"--she's really terrific and I hope she reads this and knows I am writing this partly because I feel I owe her a debt of gratitude for getting me off the couch today. Also because I think cats are awfully cool.
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