A Little Privacy, PLEASE!

Not my cat, but what the???!!!

Does any mother out there remember what it's like to use the bathroom without spectators?  Once you've given birth you need to be available at a moment's notice when your baby cries and people often leave you alone in the house to fend for yourself (gasp!) So I had an open door policy until my kids were...I don't know.  Let's just say I have a bad habit of not always shutting the door behind me when I go in when I'm alone in the house.  Why should I?  The cats seem to think this is some kind of bonding experience we need to share, however, and are infiltrating my bathroom space with needy cries for attention and distracting leg rubs (which I call "potty hugs") and this is so unnecessary!  If I have the NERVE to close the door to the toilet, quite often every single one of my three cats is poised at the other side of the door plotting on how to: 1) open the dang thing, or 2) create a disturbance provoking crying and thumping which will allow them to sliver through the hairline crack I use to peek out and make sure no one is getting mauled.  Don't you agree that this is manipulative and rude?  Don't I deserve my alone time?  If I'm in a bathroom that has enough room at the bottom of the door, a stealthy paw will come slithering back and forth seeking a toe hold of some kind.  If it's dark at night it can be downright frightening.  I should have named each cat after a famous explorer or celebrated cave spelunker.  They have no boundaries.

So in this social forum we established in the house, I have surrendered my dignity on many occasions just to keep the peace and allow the little felines full access to my throne room.  And once they have this full access pass, what do you think they do with it?  They throw themselves at my feet with looks of such dramatic adoration and ceaseless agitation (hurry up!  I need to be fed again!  Aren't I adorable?)  I definitely think this performance is quite amusing because once they hear the flush they go running like it never happened and I am left with my shame to bear alone.  ha ha

This is what I have to climb OVER before I get there

Do all cats do this?  I have friends whose cats are constantly barging in on "private" moments whenever they perceive human inattention.  But I'm just curious if these potty provocateurs are exceptions.  These are little toilet monsters and it's my fault, sure.  Perhaps they are paying me back for constantly observing their litter habits--after all, there are no doors to their toilets either. I don't need a coach or moral support so why am I allowing this behavior?  Habit.  Pure and simple.  Will I change?  Don't know.  But I do get a little satisfaction from knowing I'm never lonely even at the expense of my self-respect and propriety.  Now if I could only train them to change the roll of toilet paper....