Why Cat Parks Aren't Successful...

Can't we all just get along?

Let's face it.  Dog's probably ARE man's best friend.  Cats, at best, can be exclusive with one human at a time, but you are going to have to face it that it's only because they don't have opposable thumbs and can't drive a car.  They will use us mercilessly and make us believe in their tireless devotion, and one day you will turn around and see Fluffy pooping in your sink and all of your "pie in the sky" ideals about her intelligence and dedication to your training will go right out the window as you reach for the Clorox.  I'm not suggesting cats can't LOVE their owners, but let's not ever make the mistake of calling ourselves masters of our cats.  If you do, please refer to my blog on DPS (Dagger Paw Syndrome) and remember they have the means to take us out in our sleep with a well-executed pose on our chest while we exhale.

I don't have a dog, but love the idea of a Cat Park and wish we had the option to take our three cats there, if nothing else but for me to have pictures of them OUTSIDE instead of indoors which is where we agreed to hide them forever when we signed contracts at the shelters where we "rescued" them.  (oh, don't get me started on the whole indoor/outdoor cat thing today)  When you go to a dog park, you see these frisky canines just joyously interacting and sniffing, and greeting each other in the most curious manner...So grateful that humans have evolved and we settle for handshakes, aren't you?  But having a cat park would be a travesty for lots of reasons.  First, just getting them there might require sedatives for my cats--would we use crates or leashes...or both?  And once we arrived, we would have to peel them out of the crates to release them into the park.  This is also an interesting dilemma, because now they look up and see...NO CEILING...GOOD GOD!  So they squat down as flat as they can without dissolving into the earth, and crouch-run as if their legs don't extend beyond two inches above the ground.  This odd shuffle will quickly return them to their car of origin, or into the closest cat hater nearby.  Perhaps they will rediscover their claws and climb up a tree and you can make that 911 call you've always wanted to make to the fictitious fireman who wants to climb up a tree to rescue your cat?  Then your ambition to see them play with other cats and socialize would quickly be derailed by their absolute inability to be nice to a new cat unless they've been properly introduced which involves days of appropriate space separation (walls, fences, and exchanging smelly bedding) and a courtship of approximately three to four months.  Perhaps after the approved timeframe they will exchange cards and agree that it's not going to work out but will agree to share the house and when they see each other greet each other with a cordial hiss and tail poofing. I think the only "cat park" I will ever see will be the ones we see at the zoo, and those ones just make me sad.


So, you see why cat parks are uncommon.  We need to settle for the cats that prowl industriously around the neighborhoods and into our yards or fences to yowl at the moon and try not to run for the hose. They may not get the exalted "Man's Best Friend" title, but when you try to force friendships on a cat, that's just not a very friendly thing to do, is it?