Translate THIS!

There are lots of times I am alone in the house and because they say it's totally normal for geniuses to talk to themselves, I just ramble on and on and my little cat minions follow me around and we have lively little running commentaries. I used to pretend that cats are poly-lingual because I've had exchange students who call to them in their native languages and they still come, and I marveled at how intelligent they are! When did Tigger study Spanish and German?? What a phenomenal boy! And just to confuse our listeners when others are around, I've created our own little language that sounds a little like baby talk, but more like gibberish, and they know EXACTLY what I'm saying! Am I the only person who does this with my cats? Can I get a "What? What?" (or is it a woot woot?) Don't leave me hanging here because my husband has come home for lunch a couple times and I've been engaging in conversation with the cats and he looks at me like I need to lay down for my nap...No, I'm not feverish, it's just more fun to talk to the cats and see if I can confuse them. Cocky little stinkers--they think they're so smart!!  They almost always answer me with a tail in the air or a meow and sometimes they get quite agitated if I keep repeating myself.  No doubt we sound like the nondescript droning of Charlie Brown's teacher to our felines, yet it's still fun to pretend our dialogues have a deeper meaning and you never know when they're going to lose interest so it had better sound good unless you want to find yourself talking to the tail.

Now there are some kitties that don't talk as much as others, and some breeds that never shut up (hello Siamese!!) but each cat has its own special manner of communication and after awhile you understand cat vocabulary and will know precisely which version of meow means, "I'm greeting you, aren't you lucky?" or "I would like to be fed now because it's been at least 15 minutes since my last meal." If you're particularly skilled you will recognize the phrase, "I just lost my lunch somewhere between your favorite cushion and the plant" before it becomes part of the floor pattern.  Sometimes what they say is just simple body language, but that's another blog entirely.

Toonsis, the talking cat

I also laugh out loud at our kitty, Toonsis, because she is quiet all day long, but around 9pm every night she feels compelled to catch me up on everything all day like a town crier. She will follow me from room to room chatting away until I stop and listen and give her a nice ear scratch. She's hilarious. After this routine she INSISTS on jumping into my husband's bathroom sink and drink from his faucet to clear her throat and who am I to deny her the running water that she loves so much??

You will see all kinds of websites dedicated to translating the meows of cats and the different patterns and behaviors of their vocalizations.  And all cats have their unique squeaks and squawks which can be both very sweet or terribly offensive.  But my opinion is that the translation depends largely upon the listener because if you aren't paying attention to what the cat is saying...well, you'd just better keep an eye out for any strange patterns in your carpet or behind your plants.  Kitty has spoken and will typically get the last word.