Food IS Love...Right?

What weight problem?

I am an emotional eater.  I eat when I'm bored, nervous, excited, lonely, sad.  Heck...I even eat when I'm hungry!  Naturally, this has led me to gain weight over the years because no matter how hard I try, it appears that if I eat more calories than I burn, I gain weight!  Many infomercials tell me that this is a preposterous concept and there are pills, powders, contraptions and battery-operated gizmos that will do the work for me and I never have to sacrifice the food I love or get sweaty, but I guess I might have to actually get up once and awhile and move around a little to burn a calorie.  Unfortunately for my cats, they have acquired my talent for power-sleeping and moving as little as possible when looking cute is a better alternative to working for food, therefore, we all have a bit of a weight problem.  But I need to get serious now because my veterinarian says my cats are "obese" and it would break my heart to be the cause of their early demise just because we bond over our kibble.

Couch Potato

At my house, it's the Food Channel 24/7 for my cats and I am the host so they are consistently attempting to sabotage any efforts I make to help them approach a "healthy weight."  If anything, it's all about how to get fed, so how am I supposed to cut back?  I know I should be the strong one, and they depend on me, but how can I resist some of these efforts for attention?  Here are some examples of what I'm up against:

"The Cuteness"

THE CUTE ACT

The cute act is when a cat throws itself at my feet and rolls around showing me its belly and stretches pretending to want a scratch.  It's a total lie.  This is a thinly veiled attempt to get my attention. I know they are calculating how long they need to endure this torture because NONE of my cats like to be touched on their bellies so I will totally take advantage of the chance to squeeze the fat rolls.  When we are finished the mutual time-wasting, I will step over this drama kitty who will then snake between my legs and see if there is a way to either trip me or start a long-winded conversation about how long it's been since they were last fed.  I don't find either of these last two actions to be that cute, so this effort doesn't usually result in a bowl of food.




THE FIGHTING FELINES

This is when one fairly docile cat is lounging around, maybe even draped over me while I'm napping or being lazy in general, and I definitely don't want to be bothered.  Hungry Kitty will sense it and know this is the time to make their move.  The aggressor will approach the docile cat and will just tease at it with leap frog hops or by crawling over us both which makes the docile cat hiss in irritation and makes us both have to rearrange ourselves.  Also, aggressor kitty is almost always THE KITTEN...she is very bad and ALWAYS HUNGRY.  But she knows that if she annoys the other cats long enough I will have to get up from my very comfy place and either make her go away by locking her somewhere else, or giving her a small bowl of dry food so she will eat it and go to sleep.  Which isn't fair to the other cats so they get a little too.  Then THEY ALL EAT.  JACKPOT.  FAT CAT SUCCESS.


BEGGING AT THE TABLE

Dogs aren't the only pets that can be adorable while you eat.  My cats are bold enough to jump into the chair behind you while you are eating if there is enough room behind you.  They will sit beside you with big Puss in Boot eyes and give you tiny meows and kind of lean from side to side lifting the front paws up and down.  What's that about?  I have no idea but it seems like this cat is anxious and it definitely gets the guests to react.  I never give the cats "people food."  Except sometimes they will get a piece of chicken.  Or a tiny piece of unseasoned turkey. Maybe a little bread.  Again, JACKPOT.







STEALTH-WALKING ACROSS THE COUNTER WHEN NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION
(need I explain?...)

One time at a party we put out chip and dip and when I was in another room with my husband my brothers actually watched my cat jump up onto the dining room table and lick the dip out of the bowl and never told anyone until after the party was over...They thought it was really funny.  Me, not so much.

THE PAW GRAB

If I have a mouthful of food on my fork, sometimes our cat will have the nerve to actually reach up and pull the food towards him with an eager paw curled around my arm...This is a smart kitty and in my opinion deserves a treat.

I'd be eager to learn if you have a clever kitty who begs in other ways.  I really don't have any friends with cats that are the "ideal" weight.  I have tried to cut my cats off a little by giving them measured amounts of food at a specific time each day and believe me, THEY KNOW WHAT TIME THAT IS.  Daylight Savings Time is coming this weekend and I can't imagine that is going to go over well.  Their bellies don't adapt to change.  I am grateful that I'm not at the mercy of my cats to feed me because I can just imagine how they would take revenge on me for all the times I pretended not to notice they were hungry.  But if the saying "food is love" is true, my kitties definitely look well-loved.  And if I'm killing them with kibble, does that make me a "cereal killer?"  Funny? No?...Maybe I need a snack.