Cats & Sleep Deprivation

So, if you follow my blog you may have noticed that I took a long holiday.  I'm a writer so that happens when we run out of inspiration.  Actually, that's not what happened.  I am working on a bigger project so I've neglected my blogging but TBH but today I am going to plunge into the important topic of

SLEEP DEPRIVATION IN CATS.

Today, I'm inundated with cat adoration as they apply their little bodies to my legs...their superpower of sleeping in many different contortions is at an all-time high. It's probably because they love me. It may be because I'm not feeling well.  Either way, I appreciate my cats the most on days like today.


Nevertheless, here we are.  I'm surrounded by cats who, by all impressions, seem incapable of giving a shit about how I sit, as long as they can find a way to cut off my circulation.  But if you have a cat, you've been there.  You try hard to adjust without moving them as they kind of slide down and then take big leonine stretches and curl their little paws around you, and maybe a claw or two snags your leg. And, like sleeping babies, you don't want to disturb them because then EVERY CAT will have to get up and pace around and then knead incessantly at the most tender area of your solar plexus to get comfortable again for their next coma session.

Must...make...all...the...biscuits...

But I really need to get up. Maybe I'll wait.  My bladder isn't really that important.

So if you can relate and know what I mean...you have cats and you REALLY love your cats.

My husband has a remarkable ability to just lift a cat off him and get up, and then they look at him with their feline irritation, and clean their paws as if they weren't just dismissed like a piece of lint.
I even saw him PUSH one of them off of him once (!!!!) And because I was watching, this kitty looked at me to see if I saw this outrage and their PTSD, and came at me for a nice reassuring head scratch! The least I can do after being a witness to this crime.

Now, let's imagine for a moment we are the cats.  We NEED our rest.  Like, 18-22 hours/day of rest.  So for someone to thoughtlessly interrupt that and deprive them of those necessary zzzz's is unthinkable.  Can you imagine what it would be like to have someone wake you up by physically lifting you while you are in REM sleep and toss you on the ground?? Every day?? I can't.  The closest thing I have to this is perhaps when my kids were infants and seemed so very groggy when guests came to visit, particularly during the day when the house might have resembled a daycare center with no staffers. These deluded visitors would cradle my babies lovingly and then coo about what perfect SLEEPERS they were.  I was like, "Sure, just come over at 2am and see what a great sleeper she is." (smirk)
Eventually after many hours of nursing, burping, rocking, changing diapers, full-on adult crying and begging, and repeating the nursing-rocking cycle and finally little angel can be placed ONLY ON THEIR BACK, (DO YOU WANT YOUR BABY TO DIE OF SIDS???) and then noiselessly backing away to any horizontal location inviting enough to enjoy for perhaps 45 minutes. Only too be reawakened by said thoughtless baby acting helpless and all whatever.  How rude.

But, let's get back to cats.  You didn't come here to read about how sleep-deprived new mothers are. That is a whole OTHER blog community.

It's your CATS that are sleep-deprived.  And if you love them and really want them to be happy, for God's sake, please find a way to gently scoop them up in the least disruptive way possible, and place them on the softest surface available, hopefully the fluffiest of brushed flannel, using your elbow to verify it is the proper temperature so they can curl back up and continue to sleep uninterrupted.  Or if they are really spread out over you, carefully SLIDE your way out from beneath them, not moving too quickly, or else you will get the glare of doom notifying you of how they will interrupt YOUR NEXT REM SLEEP.  Perhaps even with dagger paws directly on your throat, thus obstructing your airway. Take THAT silly human!

Things are getting serious.  I really need to get up.

SO, in closing, what really matters is that you CAN find a way to all stay comfortable.  You may have to be a little dehydrated.  But remember, your sleeping kitty deserves the best human possible. One who is attentive, and warm.  And able to sit for long periods without need of food or drink,  able to tolerate the lack circulation in their legs or arms. 

But just THINK of all the cute positions they can sleep in!  The internet will never run out of pics of cats sleeping.  I certainly enjoy looking at all the precious little posers.

Kitties need teddy bears too!

Blehp

Give me a friggin' break!